Fridays...

I remember when I loved Fridays!

Now that's changed.

For some reason, ever since I got back from my mission, I have hated them. There just no fun anymore. You can take every other day into account. I love Sundays, Mondays are really great, Tuesday is always good even with work that night, I get through Wednesday just fine, I enjoy Thursday with my rm class, but I never get a nap in before work, and Saturday always turns out good. But Friday... I'm always exhausted, lonely and depressed. It just all comes down so hard on my shoulders and I shake at the pressure. I feel left out. Today I shouldn't have. Emma and Wilson invited me to go to Ender's Game, but I wasn't conscious when they asked. Mom and Dad invited me to 5 Guy's for dinner, but I didn't feel like it for some reason. Now I'm kicking myself. I guess I needed the sleep, but I don't like how useless I feel when I'm so exhausted. I hate not having a purpose in my life. I hate not having friends to just chill with. I've never wanted to do absolutely nothing more! I hate not having a car. I'm searching and nothing is coming through. I keep getting beat to the cars I want.

Well life goes on.

I'm rolling with it.

*Pick up, blow off dust*

Ha. I'm on a blog again. I'm really strange sometimes, but I feel like the internet can be that friend you don't have.

In all honesty, I just don't want to waste journal pages complaining about being depressed.

Being a returned missionary gets lonely.*

I'll survive though.

Most likely.

Editor's note: Wouldn't it be awkward if someone actually read this.

*You can basically insert any word right before this one that denotes something to the effect of "very" and it will be true.

Well, I guess it's time to have fun. Or do my best at it. It's a beautiful snowy day and I don't want to waste a Christmas preparation day being sad. So, as they say, I'll just fake it until it's a reality.

Tot straks, eh.

Reeeeeal quick little thought:

So... you ever watch two and a half seasons of a show then decide that a main character looks like a pretty good friend of yours? It makes the show awkward realizing the most attractive character looks a lot like a girl you know. Especially since the girl you know probably looks nothing like the character, but resembles her so when a fleeting thought of her flashes through your subconscious and you immediately think that girl you know must be as attractive as the character. It is weird! Haha but slightly exciting... oh well!

How High Is This Cliff I'm Running Off Of?

I feel like I'm running up a hill.

I've been going at it since I was a young child.

I've been working up towards it.

It's kind of like a mountain with a cliff.

That's life eh?

All my life, working for two goals:

I'm now a BYU student--living the dream :)

I'm almost a missionary--leven het droom :)

...

...

...

Then what?

I'm achieving my life's goals.

I don't know how high I've run up this mountain.

It's foggy and I can't see down!

So when I hit the edge, will I have further to go?

or will I have a long ways to plummet?

I'm kind of afraid I'll go into depression.

Mountains have false peaks.

I can't wait to begin the next ascent.

Open the curtains on act two.

Begin watching my life's Empire Strikes Back or The Two Towers.

But right now, I'm destroying the Death Star.

Or maybe I'm facing the Mirror of Erised.

That would be exciting to still have six more periods of my life (Hehe only a guy could use that like that ;),) that continue to escalate in excitement!

Harry Potter doesn't work for my metaphor.

I'm leaving the Fellowship.

This is the very best part of the first part of my life.

I'm fulfilling myself!

I have no need to fear!

The second movies are both the best :)

No Ewoks or non-scary and moreover less epic battles!

But I don't need to familiarize myself with the new world and the story.

I know most of that now.

Oh boy this is the most epic blog post to-date :)

Anywho, I realized I watch too much of that show "How I Met Your Mother" when I blogged about it yesterday and when I said "LEGENDARY!" too much.

Screw it. Gotta go finish season two!

It's not like I could be sleeping though. Seriously. Forza Motorsport 4 comes out tomorrow and I am psyched into oblivion.

Love you all!

Really. You are all great.

Adieu

Left of the Center

Thank goodness this post isn't about my political views!

I just felt like splurging all my girlie attributes for some reason. I know a very good friend of mine thinks I blog for her, but she's wrong! I highly and thoroughly enjoy blogging :-) I also like playing with girls' hair... mostly because I can pretend someone is scratching my head :-) but still! I also thought it'd make me better friends with another friend :-) yeah I also like watching tv shows and chick flicks for the whole love interest parts. I get giddy! I know my loyal readers, who are hopefully all female, enjoy it, but I feel rather gay quite often cuz of these things! Anywho, I ought to say some big strings of big words to sound a little bit tougher. By the way, a few of my favorite literary quips are using repitition of adjectives (eg big strings of big words,) and using two adjectives at a time. I picked the latter off of Earnest Hemmingway, may he rest in peace.

Hmm...

I'm thoughtless. Giddy on affeministic ecstacy, happy with hopeless romanticism. I'm so weird. This will definitely be one I think about before posting!

I had a thought today!

I also enjoyed the Amazing Race! Now three of my four least favorites are out! w00t lol

I need sleep. Forgive me!

Niall out

[No Title]

So... you know how things are all awesome when you get tired? Yeah dreams are so awesome cuz you're so tired that you're asleep!

You know that feeling when you're exhausted but full of energy? Like in limbo of unconsciousness and hyperactivity? It's a bit annoying.

You know when you have a great day that is ruined by one thing? I like to try to move past those and just remember the best.

You know how sometimes you feel hopeful and then see something exactly the same and realize it's probably false hope? It sucks.

You know when everything seems to be going right but you remain more or less unhappy? It also sucks.

You know when you feel that feeling of immense happiness that trumps all other feelings and makes your day so much brighter? It's found in Alma chapters 59-61. Those are incredible! I read them while at work.

You know how it feels when you actually don't have enough time? I don't think I do, but I feel like my mom is trying to take advantage of a couple of not-too-busy hands before they're gone.

You know that feeling when you take a step back and realize you have a great life? I do. It's great!

And now for something totally different!

I recently began to watch Star Trek! Well, I got a job as an independent contractor assembling little clippy things for my neighbor. I get paid $0.20 per unit and average around $8.40 an hour. So it's cool! But I started watching Star Trek: The Original Series while working on these things! That show is freaking deep! I realize much about myself while watching it. Plus it has the basis for almost every Science Fiction thing ever! Even Jedi! And Inception and Serenity. I absolutely love it and would recommend it to anyone and everyone who I'm friends with.

So the Forza Motorsport 4 Demo came out yesterday and I was playing it today! As much as I'm excited for it, I was kind of disappointed by the demo. However, I was worried when I bought it's predessescore that I wouldn't like it cuz of the demo and guess who's played it for like 120 hours? (Hint: he's the only one that can't spell the word "predessesor" properly on this blog.) So I remain excited :-)

I've been meaning to write about this box of sentimental stuff I have, but I'm a sap when it comes to reminiscing and stuff so I refrain. I'll sum it up:

I have a box I throw crap to remind me of the past in.

There you go!

I learned something about myself today! But I don't feel like elaborating.

I decided, while at work, that mixing Cherry and Diet Coke works for me.

I daydream about my dream job a lot. I should daydream more about the real job I want!

The best thing my Dad had done to raise me and my siblings was to embrace our little quirks. When I was 11 or so, he gave me the article that changed my life forever. It's about how  daydreamers are set up for good success because they envision themselves as something until they become something. That basically created the uninhibited daydreamer you know and love.

I don't only daydream. I don't just sit around, pace, stay in the bathroom, or lie awake daydreaming. Meh I guess I mostly do that... but my parents have walked in on me dancing by myself a few times lately.

I find solace in personal thinking.

I will stop rambling now.

This has been a nice b-log. Not like Bob Lablah's Law Blog, but close! Anyways, goodnight my loyal followers.

Just FYI

I was basically absolutely blown away by the Choir's performance of "I Believe In Christ" today. Like I'm still in awe of it! Probably my favorite hymn. Anywho, I've been meaning to blog about a box full of memories I've got. So I might do that tomoorroo.

Also, on impulse I bought a laser just like a friend of mine's... and an HDMI cuz I saw it on the website for way cheap! $30.23 down the drain! Oh well. I've been making extra income lately so I'll be okay!