9.24.2011

Veel Groter.

Well, I decided to be nice and clever with the title :-) It's actually Dutch for "much larger." Here's why it's clever:

An old German proverb goes, "fear is what makes the wolf larger than he actually is." I submit that is a falsehood. The thing that makes the wolf much larger than he actually is, is your imagination. The main source of human fear. If this was reworded to say, "fear is what makes that snarling, ghastly noise sound like it's a wolf, which would probably be larger than a normal wolf," it would also be wrong! It's not fear. It's night! I recently traversed up the stairs and into my room during the middle of the night, and I swear, I haven't stepped on more twigs, had stickier feet, had louder mechanical doorknob parts whirring, had a louder drum pounding, or had creakier matress springs being in my house, ever. In reality, I doubt it was loud. It's just the lack of other noise that provides the ever so stark contrast. How come it's not like this when I'm home alone at noon? The world may never know. But I would hazard a guess at all the additional ambient noise--the songbirds, the distant cars, the schoolboys and schoolgirls, the keyboards, the lawnmowers, the vibrations--that keeps it noisey. I'd like a Decibel-o-meter to see for myself. But it's not that important eh? One nice thing about the amplifying properties of night's lack of sound is an increased space for thought. I think more clearly en el noche. But again, all the lurking variables, the extraneous causes, the unaccounted reasons keep us from knowing exactly what it is. Whatever it may be, I like it. In fact, I'm probably addicted. That's why, secret though it may be, I love this time of day. Speaking of thoughts, I enjoy musing on the fact that, due to absolute oppositions, everything is just a lack of something else. But is it? Can you really say love is just a lack of hate? Or is love like a folder of words; does love include patience, courage, care, willingness, unconditionality? For the latter, it is the absence of impatience, cowardess, indifference, stubborness, stickleness. But is it the absence, or the presence of those in other things that create this? So one thing we've learned from this ramble, albeit brief, is that night expands and allows for more to happen. There's no end, no path, and no point to these thoughts.

I looked at het Boek van Mormon briefly. It's basically 675 pages of z's and k's and double-letters. I'm just going to keep it around--not read it. Although it'd be nice to have a headstart on Dutch when I learned it, trying on my own would be like starting the Kentucky Derby with your horse's nose in the dirt.

Alas, the tides of the infinitely alternate reality sweep upon me. I shall reunite with this reality in five hours, or peradventure sooner depending on the speed of my physical and metaphysical regeneration.

Adieu.

9.16.2011

New Friend. A Novel.


Do you ever regret making a friend?

Well...

I appear to regret making a friend.

It's a friend I kinda started getting comfortable with right when school was getting out.

Now we're quite familiar.

I regret 9 out of 10 visitings with this friend.

Sometimes it's nice, sometimes I feel stupid.

I'm actually with this friend right as we speak.

If this weren't a metaphor, I would hate this friend, yet love this friend. What a jerk! But alas, this friend is a large portion of my life. What a contradiction!

Anywho, I'm calling the hour of 1 AM my friend.

Yeah... I don't really like every time I'm with this friend!

Let's not meet again for a bit, k?

I am a little more creative around this friend of mine though...

Actually, my favorite blog posts are from like 3 and 4.

Whoohoohoo!

Update: As it turns out, my best posts say 1:something but were actually at 2:something. So there you have it! If you want to have an intere-stinger version of me, get to me at around 2:30!

P. S. Is it just me, or am I kinda poetic? Meh... it's probly just me.

And now for something totally different:

So I've really been getting into some stuff lately like the Price Is Right and a computer game and an XBox game, which I've been real into for a long time but just bought a steering wheel :-)

I've recently discovered that a life with responsibilities and accountabilities is much more worth living.

I'm kinda in the mood to watch some silly British humor, but oh goodness... do you ever think you hear someone moving in your house, but can't tell cuz your keys you're typing on are noisey? It freaks me out.

Continuing the first thought, it's late and I ought to sleep.

So I'm kinda writing up a novel here! I'll have to change the title. I'll italicize the new part. [Turns out you can't italicize titles. You cannot ititlecize. But I tacked on the "A Novel." Part cuz it's like a joke about how all books nowadays are subtitled with that. I find it silly. Silly middle aged women, to whom those books are targeted. Everyone knows almost-nineteen-year-old-boys are the best target audience. Especially for shooting-related or explosion-oriented stuff.]

I'm really hungry and have to... run an errand... but my dad's a light sleeper so I think I'll try to sleep a little harder.

As always, I absolutely love all my readers, some more than they think, and bid all of them, strange or familiar, a pleasant MWT night.

9.14.2011

A Quick Sentence, Followed By Some Thoughts.

I'd have to say, nothing quite beats having a best friend :-)

I really do have a good life.

I do stupid things, by doing harmless things excessively and repeatedly.

I'm not afraid of the future, but I'm afraid of adjusting into the future.

I lie in hopes of helping people. Which can be accurately taken in two ways.

I overthink things.

I find loving easier than hating.

One could say that I struggle to float down a stream.

I'm egocentric in an egocentric way.

I've discovered proverbial thinking to be moderately pleasing.

I am human despite what I want to believe.

I really need to update my defininnietion of "Niallism" with a spot about how the counterintuitive nature of paradoxes is relaxing because of what it means. Like that abnormality creates normality and keeps life going. It's the whole insane-sane concept. I could go on and on and on but probably cuz it's late, as usual...

Maybe...
            ... my blogging's correlation with it being late is saying something about me blogging...

Oh well I enjoy it. Except when it asks if I'm sure I want to post.

But I've addressed that.

Lates!

9.02.2011

P. S.

The Blogger app I use always asks if I'm sure I want to publish...

I always go straight for yes, then think if I made the right choice while it's publishing...

My future life plan

So I've made an amendment to my life's plan. Instead of a silly car like a Honda S2000 or an Acura NSX, I'll get a 1968 Datsun 510. Then I can love my car but girls won't think I love my car too much!... hopefully...

I've just recently taken an interest to them. And I have a physical profile for that special girl who gets me and my 510. Maybe I'll share it.

So I had this crazy thought today... does anyone read my blog??

Another life idea: work for a big company. My dream is to work for Boeing or Lockheed-Martin. That's cuz my dad's work has just been going through spins and it bothers me. He works at a very small company and I guess everyone he works for is crazy. Oh well. He's pushing for a $12,000 raise, which would be so helpful.

Thinking about it, everyone we regularly home teach is crazy too... maybe they aren't the crazy ones...

And on that bombshell, goodnight!